V is for Vomit

*Do yourself a favor and don’t read this while eating or if you have a weak stomach*

 Looking back, I was really setting myself up for it.  Karma’s a bitch, you know.  Aiden’s 9 month checkup was yesterday afternoon, and everything was great.  29.5 inches, 22 lbs, 6 ounces.  He’s a big, strong, healthy boy.  Then our pediatrician asked if Aiden’s been sick at all, to which I proudly replied, “Nope, other than a runny nose/cold back when he was very young.  He’s never thrown up or had a fever or anything.”  I say “proudly” because I like to think that my nursing helps protect him from illnesses.

Well, I should have knocked on wood or something when I made that cocky declaration at the doctor’s office.  Because 3 hours later, Aiden was projectile vomiting all over the place.  Of course, it had to happen while I was visiting my parents for dinner.  The baby started to barf and he kept a steady pace of upchucking every 20 minutes.  I then had to drive home (a 40 minute trip) and thank god he only threw up once during the ride.

But it just gets better.  Did I mention that my huz is out of town right now?  That means I was all alone for last night’s barf-a-thon.  And it might not have been too bad, if I didn’t start to vomit myself.

Yeah, whatever Aiden has, I got it bad, too.  I had managed to get him to sleep and I got to bed around midnight.  By 2 a.m., I was hanging over the toilet.  That woke up Aiden, so I went and got him from his crib and started rocking him.

Then… I realized I was going to vomit again.  Knowing that I didn’t have much time, I sank to the floor, sat the baby next to me, and had my way with a plastic trashcan.  The best part of this??  EVERY TIME I BARFED, THE BABY LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY.  He thinks it’s funny when you cough or sneeze, so apparently violent dry heaves are fucking hilarious.  Child, you will never live this down.

Things were better today.  Although we had some… messy episodes… this morning, Aiden has been keeping everything down since early afternoon.  I feel like I was hit by a truck, and I can’t wait for Jason to get home tomorrow (take your child now while I submerge in a scalding bath!)  Thank goodness for my wonderful mom, who came up to watch the baby and let me nap a bit and get some rest.  She saved me today.

I’m off to try and figure out new ways to entertain my little guy.  I wonder what might make him happier… if I howl while burning myself or scream while falling down the steps?  Whatever happened to pleasing this kid with some good ol’ fashioned peek-a-boo?